Somehow, its next to impossible to not think of dying while one is on the operating table. Cesareans are one of the odd surgeries where the patient is actually awake while being cut into. How barbaric is that? I know we all want to witness our babies' first moments, but the trade-off can be hard for mama. Every one of my four c-sections were accompanied by thoughts of death and the fear of not breathing. My last section was an emergency, so there was an entirely new level of fear in that room, and sadly I did stop breathing on the table.
That c-section was only 10 months ago, and in less than 8 weeks, I'll be walking into an operating room for another one. The fear and the fresh memories are with me, and I'm uncertain how I'll be able to make it through the birth of my seventh baby.
No comments:
Post a Comment